I should do my dishes before work.
I should post this journal before it appears on my blog.
I should put the suitcase away.
I should hang the washing out.
I should get to school early because I have a lot to do (My start time today is 10.00am)
I should not waste time on my computer.
I should ring X
and a whole lot more ...
I have spent years rushing here and there trying to complete all the 'I shoulds' so that I could then have guilt free time to do what I wished. At last a realisiation, or perhaps a coming-of-age (35), I will never complete them, the self and other imposed 'I shoulds'. I am not sure if it is possible - and if it is, then I am not capable ... and that is ok. What is not ok is to be bound by the 'I shoulds'. Time for me to play, or sleep, or chatter - is important. Time without a label, or a designated task, is vital. Time, where time is not measured, is as essential as oxygen to my daily living.
I think I started to come to some of this years ago when I stopped wearing a watch, and became less houseproud. Now, however, I am letting go of the guilt ... Remind me, next time I seem overwhelmed, that I SHOULD have free time ...
And, Charles is enjoying the case ...